Humor

The Devil's Dictionary

History, n. an account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools. Marriage, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all two. Self-Esteem, n. An erroneous appraisement.
These caustic aphorisms, collected in The Devil's Dictionary, helped earn Ambrose Bierce the epithets Bitter Bierce, the Devil's Lexicographer, and the Wickedest Man in San Francisco. First published as The Cynic's Word Book (1906) and later reissued under its preferred name in 1911, Bierce's notorious collection of barbed definitions forcibly contradicts Samuel Johnson's earlier definition of a lexicographer as a harmless drudge. There was nothing harmless about Ambrose Bierce, and the words he shaped into verbal pitchforks a century ago--with or without the devil's help--can still draw blood today.

Encyclopedia of Immaturity (Klutz)Volume 1

Qi: the Pocket Book of General Ignorance

A number-one bestseller, this is a comprehensive catalogue of all the misconceptions, mistakes and misunderstandings in 'common knowledge' that will make you wonder why anyone bothers going to school. Now available in this handy pocket-sized edition, carry it everywhere to impress your friends, frustrate your enemies and win every argument.

English As We Speak It In Ireland

Many of the earliest books, particularly those dating back to the 1900s and before, are now extremely scarce and increasingly expensive. We are republishing these classic works in affordable, high quality, modern editions, using the original text and artwork.

I Never Metaphor I Didn't Like: A Comprehensive Compilation of History's Greatest Analogies, Metaphors, and Similes

The murals in restaurants are on a par with the food in museums.

America is an enormous frosted cupcake in the middle of millions of starving people.

Critics are like pigs at the pastry cart.

Describing something by relating it to another thing is the essence of metaphorical thought. It is one of the oldest activities of humankind—and one of the most impressive when done skillfully. Throughout history, many masters of metaphor have crafted observations that are so spectacular they have taken up a permanent residence in our minds.

In I Never Metaphor I Didn't Like, quotation maven Dr. Mardy Grothe fixes his attention on the three superstars of figurative language—analogies, metaphors, and similes. The result is an extraordinary compilation of nearly 2,000 feats of association that will entertain, educate, and occasionally inspire quotation lovers everywhere.

In this intellectual smorgasbord, the author of Oxymoronica and Viva la Repartee explains figurative language in a refreshingly down-to-earth way before taking readers on a tour of history's greatest word pictures. In chapters on wit, love, sex, stage and screen, insults, politics, sports, and more, you will find quotations from Aristotle and Maya Angelou to George Washington and Oprah Winfrey.

The The Encyclopedia of Immaturity: Volume 2

Secret Lives of the First Ladies

Scandals, Seduction, Addiction, Adultery, Horrific Fashions—And the White House?!?
 
Your high school history teachers never gave you a book like this one! Secret Lives of the First Ladies features outrageous and uncensored profiles of the women of the White House—complete with hundreds of little-known, politically incorrect, and downright wacko facts. You’ll discover that:
 
     •  Dolley Madison loved to chew tobacco
     •  Mary Todd Lincoln conducted séances on a regular basis
     •  Eleanor Roosevelt and Ellen Wilson both carried guns
     •  Jacqueline Kennedy spent $121,000 on her wardrobe in a single year
     •  Betty Ford liked to chat on CB radios—her handle was “First Mama”
     •  Hillary Clinton dreamed of being an astronaut
     •  And much, much more
 
With chapters on every woman who’s ever made it to the White House, Secret Lives of the First Ladies tackles all of the tough questions that other history books are afraid to ask: How many of these women owned slaves? Which ones were cheating on their husbands? And why was Eleanor Roosevelt serving hot dogs to the King and Queen of England? American history was never this much fun in school!

Alphabet Juice: The Energies, Gists, and Spirits of Letters, Words

The Complete English Tradesman

The title of this work is an index of the performance. It is a collection of useful instructions for a young tradesman.

Real Ponies Don't Go Oink! (G K Hall Large Print Book Series)