Humor

Encyclopedia of Immaturity (Klutz)Volume 1

The ultimate guide on how not to grow up! This collection of goofy stuff includes information on how to skip a stone, how to do a wheelie and many others - 484 illustrated pages worth!

The Encyclopedia of Immaturity: Volume 2

When Klutz published The Encyclopedia of Immaturity in 2007, they knew it would make a great gift for someone's nephew. And, sure enough, people gave it to their nephews but also to their grandparents, brothers-in-law and accountants. Soon they were flooded with letters, e-mails and calls sharing one common theme ""More! More! More!"" So here's a second helping of skills, activities, and secret knowledge suitable only for those whose maturity stopped developing around the age of 12. In addition to thought-provoking topics like What We Talk About When We Talk About Wedgies, the book includes detailed directions for how to: fake a cold, slide down a banister, balance a ping pong ball on your nose, send a toiletgram, throw a sloshie, and more. It's all new and all hopelessly goofy. For years we've felt like the only kids at the grown-up table. Now it turns out the world is populated by a lot more people who are lot less mature than they look. Well, duh!

I Never Metaphor I Didn't Like: A Comprehensive Compilation of History's Greatest Analogies, Metaphors, and Similes

The murals in restaurants are on a par with the food in museums.

America is an enormous frosted cupcake in the middle of millions of starving people.

Critics are like pigs at the pastry cart.

Describing something by relating it to another thing is the essence of metaphorical thought. It is one of the oldest activities of humankind—and one of the most impressive when done skillfully. Throughout history, many masters of metaphor have crafted observations that are so spectacular they have taken up a permanent residence in our minds.

In I Never Metaphor I Didn't Like, quotation maven Dr. Mardy Grothe fixes his attention on the three superstars of figurative language—analogies, metaphors, and similes. The result is an extraordinary compilation of nearly 2,000 feats of association that will entertain, educate, and occasionally inspire quotation lovers everywhere.

In this intellectual smorgasbord, the author of Oxymoronica and Viva la Repartee explains figurative language in a refreshingly down-to-earth way before taking readers on a tour of history's greatest word pictures. In chapters on wit, love, sex, stage and screen, insults, politics, sports, and more, you will find quotations from Aristotle and Maya Angelou to George Washington and Oprah Winfrey.

The Superior Person's Book of Words

A dictionary for those who perceive a difference, a handbook for Superior Persons who love words.

Are you an Anglophile? (Stout fellow!) Just stand at this springboard and leave the fields of popinjay jabber and tongue-stumped battology behind forever! Step up for big dividends in the giddy heights of superior speech. Are you a rasorial searcher after words? Are nouns your bread? Adjectives your butter? Verbs your little salad? Adverbs your house dressing? Well, then, this is the book to shiver you futtocks! Put an end to fopdoodly speech; amaze your friends, baffle your enemies, write interoffice memos to end all discussion! Peter Bowler will teach you the practical riches of saying it well with good words, neglected words, precise words for vocabular exultation. A Superior Person is not defined by income, class, or sex. A Superior Person uses Superior Speech. And, if Aristotle's definition of art as something both entertaining and edifying is still toasted with glee, then there's art a-chock-a-block in Mr. Bowler's dictionary - a funny, useful, and elevating little book.

Wit and Wisdom of the American Presidents: A Book of Quotations (Dover Thrift Editions,)

Over 400 memorable quotes expressed by America s chief executives, among them U.S. Grant s I know only two tunes. One of them is Yankee Doodle and the other isn t, Jimmy Carter s Whatever starts in California unfortunately has an inclination to spread, and George Bush s Read my lips: no new taxes. A wealth of useful material for public speakers and students of American history. A delight for general readers. Editor: Joslyn PineFormat: 64 pages, paperbackPublisher: Dover ISBN: 0486414272

Stink-O-Pedia: Super Stink-Y Stuff From A to Zzzzz

Study up on Stink-isms from A to Z! A super-funny compendium of wacky
facts with compulsive appeal for fans of Stink and Judy Moody alike.

Where can you view the world’s oldest ham? Who holds the record for the world’s loudest burp? The answers to these and many, many more essential questions can be found in Stink-O-Pedia — just the sort of reference book that Stink Moody, who reads encyclopedias in his spare time, might make up himself. From J-for-Jawbreaker (and how long it would take an average frog to digest one), to P-for-Professional Smeller (and other strange but true careers), to Y-for-Yeti (why not?), this volume contains enough amazing stuff to keep readers saying "No way!" for a googolplex* of years. At the back of the book, facts are cross-referenced with related Stink and Judy Moody titles.

* See the letter Z-for-Zero!

The Best Book of Useless Information Ever: A Few Thousand Other Things You Probably Don't Need to Know (But Might as Well Find Out)

From the creators of the #1 New York Times bestseller The Book of Useless Information comes another enlightening, entertaining, and ultimately useless assortment of trivia.

If you find yourself transfixed by the most trivial of trivia, or mesmerized by the most minor of minutiae, The Useless Information Society's latest findings can satisfy your every need. This wide-ranging collection will fill every nook and cranny of your brain with information you'll surely never need, but will enjoy learning anyway!

Did you know...

- that penguins can jump six feet out of the water?
- that everyone is color-blind at birth?

Would you care to know...

- what the first meal eaten on the moon was?
- what country drinks the most Coca-Cola? (Hint: It's not the United States.)

In 1995, a secret society was formed comprising Britain's foremost thinkers, writers, and artists to trade and share in useless information (or, as founding member Keith Waterhouse, playwright and journalist, would have it, "totally bloody useless").

Book of Lists

The first and best compendium of facts weirder than fiction, of intriguing information and must-talk-about trivia has spawned many imitators - but none as addictive or successful. For nearly three decades the editors have been researching curious facts, unusual statistics and the incredible stories behind them. Now the most entertaining and informative of these have been brought together in a long-awaited, thoroughly up-to-date new edition.

The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said

Drawing from diverse personages -- Goethe to Churchill to Woody Allen -- Robert Byrne has mined a collection of wit and wisdom that deserves a special place on every humor lover's bookshelf. These unique, witty, and outrageous quotations, previously published in four separate volumes, are now gathered together in a seemingly limitless trove of pithy and often irreverent one-liners, retorts, put-downs, jokes, and last words that cover every conceivable subject and will appeal to every taste. Highlights include:

"Start every day with a smile and get it over with." -- W. C. Fields

"Men read maps better than women because only men understand that an inch can equal a hundred miles." -- Roseanne Barr

"Happiness is having a large loving family in another city." -- George Burns

The World's Greatest Book of Useless Information: If You Thought You Knew All the Things You Didn't Need to Know - Think Again

From the creators of the #1 New York Times bestseller The Book of Useless Information-a collection of even greater insignificance.

More useless than ever before! Impress know-it-all friends with this all-new hodgepodge of frivolous facts and silly statistics that no one really needs to know. But honestly, how cool is it to find out that...

• There is a place in Maryland called Monkey's Eyebrow
• Giving yellow flowers is a sign of bad luck in Russia
• One brow wrinkle is the result of 200,000 frowns
• Paper can be made from asparagus

This is the book that will also tell you...

• The meaning of 'mageirocophobia'
• Where it is illegal to kill a butterfly
• Huckleberry Finn's remedy for warts
• What bodily fluid the Romans used as a hair treatment

And much, much more!